Sometimes We Just Know

I truly believe there are moments in life when we're given insight into someone else's life. I pray for those moments. Sometimes life just goes by so fast and for some of it, I'm grateful because it feels grueling, tough, terrible...and then worth it. But during those "enduring" moments a tender mercy from the Lord is sent through a messenger, and the love felt in that moment is so pure. And deep. I have no other way of explaining it. I have felt it for other people and from other people, and without a doubt, I am a better person after every instance. I wish I could hold on to that pure, deep, true, honest, consuming love, but the world sneaks up and enduring comes back into play. I pray for those moments, too.

I want to go back in time and sit with the boy crying at lunch.

I know that I can't.

I will put myself last next time and give him a reason to smile.

I want to go back and not be so judgmental.

I know that I can't.

I will love before I think and think before I speak.

I want to go back and use kinder words.

I know that I can't.

I will remember that my words are coming from someone who bears the name of Christ.

I am grateful for the insight and the messengers in life. I hope I will always be worthy to receive them and to be one in another's time of need.

It's ALMOST Here!

SVU starts Wednesday September 22nd and like 9:00, and it's a TWO HOUR season Premiere. And then sweet sweet joy is mine because Fringe starts Thursday September 23rd!!! I am soo excited!

This Just Happened

I wrote an entire email to my drama teacher and then family catching them up on my life while sitting on the toilet. Still here....

Dear Bookmans

Oh how I appreciate thee and thy free internet. Oh it has been a rocky month without internet. As good as it has been for me not to get distracted at home, it's also frustrating when I'm running to Bookmans at 12:39am to submit a paper to a professor for class the next day. And I've got me some shows to catch up on from the summer, and some new ones coming out!!! It's getting pretty serious around here.

On a better note, I am loving (well most of) my classes! My favorites are Rituals and Performance in Theatre Arts and Advanced Dramaturgy and Adaptations (which is basically play writing). Already we've done observations of people in everyday life and done character analysis on them and we've written an adaptation to a chapter in Bram Stoker's Dracula.

School hasn't gotten too crazy yet, but it's starting to sink in that my free time needs to be chosen wisely. I got wrapped up in a painting I was doing the other night and then going to a dollar movie that I got a lil' behind in reading that is apparently essential for my eternal salvation. J/K

Camping in the Desert....NOT!

Jessica, Danielle, and I went to meet up with Heidi (who now lives in Gilbert) to go camping. It was a spur of the moment decision (the best kind, let's be real!) and whilst packing all of us kept screaming to each others rooms, "Wait! what are you bringing? What' the weather gonna be like in Phoenix tonight?" We all decided to bring one sweater that we'd probably leave in the car and some grubby camp clothes. Phhhhhh, let me just state: It is very difficult for me to find casual clothes in my closet. I don't know why I hate wearing just a t-shirt and jeans, but I seriously struggle. It took all my strength not to pack any jewelry (besides what I was wearing, of course...along with my jeans and BYU t-shirt....it still looked good). We get Heidi, a lil' Wendy's (their nuggets know what's up!) and we were off! TWO AND A HALF HOURS LATER we were like, "Where the heck are we?! We've been driving almost 5 hours!! I don't think we're in Phoenix anymore." Then I look out the window and in the dark see white patches in the forests around us. "Is that snow? Oh my gosh...everyone feel the windows." It was freezing. The next sign said, "Strawberry" and I felt like I was back in Jr. High on the way to a basketball game....in STRAWBERRY! We decided because of our efforts, Heavenly Father was going to bless one of us with our future husband that night. I volunteered to take one for the team.

Anyway, it was REALLY fun! We got there around 10pm, the Bishop skits were at 11, and the dance was from 11:30-1am!!! Haha, the next morning blaring music started at 7:30. They had a zip line, archery, and definitely some good food! It was sooo nice to just chill out in nature with friends and meet new ones! Definitely a good time. The drive back seemed faster, but maybe it was because I was asleep for almost half of it....

Roomies!

Lately I'm just in the mood to write. I've been writing in my journal a lot and writing poems and just thinking of creative projects I can be doing. I've also started rereading my favorite book "The Alchemist".....oh how it still touches my heart. Anyway, I feel inspired to write a little more about those I have cohabited with.

Freshman year of College:

Hannah Goldsmith and I have known each other since I was in first grade. She's technically younger than I am, so she was 5 when we met. We were friends at school and we were invited to the occasional sleep over, but we both have admitted to thinking the other one was totally weird as young kids. Then in HS for some (wonderful) reason we just hit it off. Within a year I knew she'd be a part of my life forever. Before I even applied to the U of A Hannah had her housing assignment. Coconino Dorm. The same as another friend of ours that was about to spend her 2nd year in that dorm. I had to get in with my best friend and one of my closest friends. I requested that dorm and to mine and Hannah's surprise, we were paired as roommates. WE HAD SUCH AN AMAZING YEAR! Seriously, it was so good for both of us. Never in my life did I make my bed every morning or consistently brush my teeth at night, or wash my face...until I lived with Hannah. If I didn't do those things, she would do them for me or just talk to me about them until she was blue in the face and I finally got out of bed to do them. And I helped her branch out into a new social circle.

Sophomore year:

I lived with Hannah again and Lindsay Stefferson. (In all actuality there was another girl living at the Reserve with us, but we never really spoke. Her name was Mercedes, but pronounced, merc-ed-ees...terrible. She always ate Cheetos and basically looked like she should be from the dirty verde.) The day we were signing the lease Hannah says to the guy, "The Reserve...that sounds like..." he tried to finish her sentence, and said, "Yeah, nice, like a resort," but not before Hannah got out, "...like Jelly. Oh wait, that's Preserves." I started laughing hysterically and the guy looked at both of us and just said, "sign on the dotted line please."

Lindsay moved in by the grace of God, literally. There was a waiting list and she called to see if she could move in with me, and I told her she should call the Reserve, and see what they could do. She evaded the wait list and was immediately put with us. It was perfect. We didn't know each other that well, but by the end of that year, we were not only best friends, but wives on facebook. I'll never forget when we beat Super Mario Brothers on the Nintendo.

Junior year:

Here's where it gets tricky. I moved in with Tiffany, Jillian, and Lindsay again. Girls: fine. House: terrible. I couldn't live there and my actions eventually led us all to move. Girls: very angry at me. House: should have been burned down. Lindsay wasn't mad...she and I moved up north to live with her girl friend Aimee. I loved our place. It was so cute, quiet, had a pool, etc. Aimee was awesome and the three of us really had a good thing going.

Senior year:

Got even trickier. I needed to save money, and in December I moved in with Kristen....in January I moved out. I then lived with Lydia Roes, Kyli Chapman, and Lani Chapman. That was fun. I mean, I was either sharing a bed with Lydia or I was on their couch, but it was an adventure. I was amazing at how well we did when none of us had space at all! I had a blast. Then in March I moved in to where I am at now, and already have new roommates. Jessica Z, Jessica K, and Megan Russell, who is now a Kartchner herself! Moving in was the best thing for me. It really was. I fell in love with the roommates and the house (especially since Kelsie went on a mission and this was where she lived last year, and where we spent MANY a Summer days watching Degrassi!!!). Since Megan moved out, Elspeth has moved in, and it has been A REAL GOOD THING!! Seriously, we sometimes just lie awake at night talking and laughing in the dark. Other times we're awake until the wee hours of the morning....both of us on our computers watching different things, but still feeling like we're getting some good quality time in together. Too legit to even quit. I'm gonna be very sad when the Summer ends and she has to go back to Mesa. So rude. But as I've learned....change can be a good thing. I've been lucky so far!

Hannah: "You know those really nerdy, awkward kids that are so cute you wanna be friends with them anyway...?"

Me: "I'm friends with you, aren't I?"

Lindsay: "My wife, my life. Hey Beast, get me some shmallow mateys and then rot."

Me: "Did you just call me a Beast...?"

Lindsay: "Umm. Yes."

Me: "Okay. I love shmallow mateys."

Megan: "Well he called me fat."

Me: "Well you're fat, I'm old, apparently, and we'll just sit in our room and hate him together."

Me: "I just farted and it's terrible."

Elspeth: "I'm glad the air is blowing towards you."

Me: *motioning the air back at her* "Yeah, but I want this to be a part of your life, too."

Elsepth: *motioning the air back at me* "I hate you....this is the most ridiculous thing we've ever done...THAT IS TERRIBLE!"

Elspeth: "You're the worst."

Me: "Your face is the worst."

Elspeth: "You keep saying that!"

Me: "Not a big deal."

It could go on for days........

My Baby Boys!

So it occurred to me that it's 2:11am and I need to go to bed since I'm meeting with the missionaries and a friend of mine at 8, before I go to work at 9. It then occurred to me that I should blog. Perfect.

I love babies. I love to nibble on their cheeks, I love to kiss their lips, and make them giggle. Two babies in particular have stolen my heart, and I don't need it back. Bowen and Duncan have made it into many a blogs, but few have been solely for them.....this one is. For those that are queasy due to sentimental moments in other peoples fam....get out of my life, and I wouldn't advise you to read on. The babes are walking and it is so exciting and so sad at the same time....they're getting so big! I have my little bonds with each of them and they have such different personalities that pulsate joy through my veins!!! The bestie's been out this week for a choir gig and all her kidlets went with. It's crazy how much I miss 'em!

I'm slightly terrified that if I go on a mission that the babes will forget me. I mean, of course they will....they're not even 1 yet! They've been gone a week, and I'm already plotting ways to rekindle our bond!!! Bowen and I are gonna play "boo!" and when I pick him up he won't let me put him down...I kind of love that. And Dunc and I will play the "kiss&dodge" game. He puts his hands on each of my cheeks and I shake them off while he laughs and then I kiss him a bunch, and then his hands find their way back to my face. I love it when he laughs. And when he imitates an elephant! And I love it when Bow crinkles his nose when he smiles and his eyes almost shut. And most of all, I love that sometimes everyone refers to me as "Aunt Sasha" and a couple times when Bowen says "dada" it mumbles in to "zsshazssha". I think he's getting close to making the right sounds for MY name!! :D

That's it. G'night.